but we become such wussies when it comes to important face-to-face adult discussions? We have that same problem with protesting cars, too, a misplaced concern that we might "offend" someone? Or is it that we feel a lot safer when we're in the car, with a less chance of getting punched in the face?

Maybe I'm different, but I rarely have issue with walking up to someone, asking them to step aside and talk to me in private, and letting my feelings be known.
Keep in mind Greg that you're talking from a perspective of someone whose been in the game for a while, and with that comes more confidence in what's going on. Regardless, the face-to-face discussion is a key to ensuring stuff doesn't happen again or as a minimum give fare warning it won't be brushed off and just accepted. It's a tough walk when going over to a competitor and often times tensions are still high making it even more daunting for people. Sometimes the discussion isn't meant to happen that day either (aka Sam Moore and my talk which finally happened the next time we raced together a couple of years later). Again, not saying it shouldn't be done.

Protesting a car becomes even more intimidating since it also involves quite a bit of knowledge about the system, and it quite a bit of effort.

I believe we may need to start a drivers group to discuss issues like this situation among ourselves at the track.
If a driver is approached by a group, they'll automatically go into defense mode no matter what the situation. People should feel okay to speak with other more experienced drivers on suggestions how best to approach situations.

Drivers who participate in the MARRS series have a class driver's rep to work through various situations. Wonder how that works for them?