I've got live engine telemetry:

1. Steam --- coolant leak.

2. Blue smoke -- oil be leakin!

3. Black smoke -- oil be leakin and burning!

4. White smoke -- damn Lucas crap!

5. Flame --- double damn that Lucas crap!

6. No engine noise -- sumptin broke!

7. Bad engine noise -- hold it down Captain, she ain't blowed up yet!

8. Good engine noise -- dude, this can't be right!