I had to withdraw for the test day and double SARRC race at Barber this weekend. This makes two races in a row but last time my wife and I had some nasty virus that drained all our energy and made us light headed. This time it was the cost. The total bill was going to run $1200. At the last minute, while eating lunch after having loaded everything up and was ready to go I came to the realization that I can not afford that at this time. The economy this year has put a squeeze on my income and the future is looking even dimmer.

Perhaps I need to limit myself to singles at home until things turn around. Even at that point I am questioning the entertainment value of driving. While I enjoy it and can not explain what it is like to someone who has never done it I feel there are numerous things I would enjoy more, for a longer period of time and at less cost.

In the past I have had more fun crewing or working on a race weekend than I do now with the cost and hassle involved with a car. I love the adrenine rush spiced with fear but maybe not enough to justify the price, work and time involved. This weekend alone was going to consume 4 days when all said and done and that does not include the car prep. My vacations aren't much longer than that, cost less, people are paid to wait on me and the food, scenery and company is much better (no offense meant to you guys but I prefer babes in bikinis).

I may also have become so averse to spending money unless absolutely necessary that I can not enjoy myself when I do. It has paid off in that I have no current or future debt but I ain't having any fun either.

I guess I'm done but still frustrated.