Well (all good stories start like that), we got the motor out and the pan off. Lo and behold, lots of metal bits in the pickup screen and in the oil pan. Lots of little blue/black ribbons of metal that used to be a bearing shell. Now, which one? Didn't take long to figure out. Judson suggested go for number three since it fails quickly. Nada, nice and clean bearings. Number two? Nope, not behind door number two. Use a little light and viola - look, number four is oozing metal out around the con rod! Pop the cap and all was revealed. Number four spun and coughed bits in the pan. Bearing was still all there though and the crank is not heinously scored. It has some roughness compared to #1 and #3 which are smooth, but not so much to catch a fingernail or measure. I think it might polish up with cloth, or at least we'll try. Some pictures below, looks like fun times ahead!

PS-that is Jeff's pants and shoes in there, I can't afford to work on engines in my suit but he insists on being well-dressed for any occasion!