My Neighbors Hate Me.

[pistonwheels]

As I prepare to leave for a weekend visit to the Southern HomeOwners Association gathering on Hyde Island, I have decided that I am going to send an award to EVERY member of each HOA for the Best Swept Garage. This once-coveted award, which required many sweep-offs and members having to try and cleen-sweep garages in other HOA's, with a finale at the SIC - the Sweep-off International Competition, will now be fairly distributed to EVERY HOA member at the start of each year.

The great benefit of this is that everyone will now be able to stay in their own garage drinking beer!.

Also, the HOA will not have to stage any Sweeps and can concentrate on PSX's (Performance Sweeping Competitions), which are much easier to to organize (they don't require certified Trash Collector's to be in attendance) and they bring in more money (Interesting that an entrant at a PSX may pay $100 or more than a licensed sweeper pays to enter a HOA Sweep-Off).

I always thought sweeping was Dirt cheap (pun intended).

However, my concern is that my plans may get swept under the carpet with all the dirt that may be flying at Hyde Island. Some people may refuse to listen. Others will think the idea is garbage or I'm just re-cycling some old concept.

My only consolation may be to collect all the Dirt and use it for a RallyCross course.

PS: At Hyde, I hope to avoid the whine drinkers whose products appear to be made from sour grapes.

[charrbq]

Now that's good! One of the mostest bestest posts I've ever read...particularly concerning garages.

[emwavey]

I have a garage, but none of my neighbors do, well except for one. My garage is the bestest in town and it came with the house when we bought it three years ago.

It's a "Full" two car garage with plenty-o-space to move and even work on the cars. It has, what I would imagine are, the old kitchen cabinets and the old oil-fired heater from the house. My garage isn't one of those whimpy two-door models either, it's got one large honkin' wooden door with one of those fancy-pants door openers.

I never really thought about my neighbors hating me because of my garage, but Scott, you have inlightened me. Now I'm sure that's why.

It has nothing to do with the lawn going south when we moved in... my neighbor across the street asks me about it occasionally. He also whistles to me rather then just saying hi. He also tends to ask me if I fixed my outside porch light too. I figured this is a great distraction so he won't pester me about other things. If my lawn is too high, he usually asks me about that too, and when my trash cans are put back the same day without his knowledge he assumes I didn't put the trash out at all. I felt better once the other neighbor across the street told me that he has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. I know he wants to get in my garage an play with my big-boy toys, but I won't let him. I keep the door closed and the music on, so I don't see or hear him.

We gave another neighbor our queen-size bed just so she wouldn't get up set with my late night packing of the car. She also sweeps leaves with a broom and shovels snow with a dust pan. She's the one that told me about the mental capacity of my other neighbor.

My other neighbor, John, next door, is a mail man. He leaves really early for work and is the only one who really understands. He has a garage, but not nearly as cool as mine, and drives a WS-6 TransAm. Luckily it's my driveway that's next to his house and not the opposite... he's also mostly deaf.

His dad hates me though, John Sr. I know he does. When we cut the apple tree down he came over to tell me how the previous owner made jam and gave him pears from the other two trees. He doesn't like my race car let alone my garage. It distracts me from making deserts for him. I know he want's in, and I know he want's a door like mine. He as to slide his over like a pocket door. I know he hates me because he lets me cut through his yard to get to the pizza place. I know John Sr. had the pizza owners point their light directly in my eyes so that when I come up to the booby trapped gate, I can't diffuse it before it shreads up my fingers. Not only does it make pizza carrying difficult, but it also makes it difficult to work in the garage. I know he knows it. He even throws pine needles into my gutters, then after a few months comes over to tell me my cutter is clogged. Sure just one more thing to keep me out of the garage. And I know he softens the ground somehow, so I'll fall and become parallized so I won't ever be able to work in the garage.

The corrections officer directly across the street tried to sell me his old tools, but I was onto him. He wanted his old tools in my garage so he could come over and borrow them... in my garage. No Way Man! He doesn't have a garage, or any lawn for that matter. When we had our daughter they came over a couple times and even brought a gift, but they never made it out to the garage. I allowed them in the kitchen, but never out the back door.

[doesn'treallymatter]

Originally posted by Mattberg@Jan 11 2006, 12:42 PM

That makes what you are doing an affront to racers.

Guess who, as of this weekend, is a Steward In Training?

[pistonwheels]

Not who you might think, regardless of what may be said on other sites......

[dickita15]

Originally posted by pistonwheels@Jan 24 2006, 11:19 AM
Not who you might think, regardless of what may be said on other sites......

[snapback]71864[/snapback]

do tell

[benspeed]

There has to be some type of psychological profiling exam to weed out the disturbed, right?

[Matt Rowe]

Profiling, you have met some of our stewards, right?

[MarkL]

One of my best friends Informed me a few years ago his wife was pregnant...I congradulated him and asked him if I could have his race car he was building...he looked at me puzzled and said NO! its mine and im racing it!!! a few years later i was pulling toys out of it in preparation for a race . MarkL, I have LOTS of work to do on my cars and If you work for beer, what brand and how many to remove tar from integras???
[/b]

I resemble that ! Sorry zrzcre, I can't come to Florida to work on your racer. But as for how many beers it costs to get tar off a car (actually, I think it's marble tracks--you know, the smears that chunks of hot soft gooey racing rubber leave behind when they hit your racer), it kind of depends how much is on it. It could be anywhere from one beer on up! At least you don't have to clean it off your visor, like the open wheel guys.