Question for the married drivers.....

[BUMPnGO]

How I do it:

During my 12 yrs. of racing, I've always maintained a "no fee" Racing Acct. at the local bank. I drive a "beater" that's been paid off for 10 years and put what would be my "new car payment" of 250 a month into the Racing acct. The beater is an old Honda that I've put about a 100 bucks in over 5 years (don't drive it much and work at home). My wife drives the nice SUV and the only requirement for her is that it has to double as my tow vehicle on race weekends. If she's not going, I rent her the 9.99 weekend car from Enterprise. I also went out and got a couple guys to sponsor me just for stuff they would normally give away to vendors. It all adds up. I've had a $500 trailer for the whole time that's still get the job done( and is still worth $500). Last year, I got only 5 weekends instead of the 6 I had planned due to the budget. So I had to skip the last race. SOOOOOOOOOOO sad!

[BUMPnGO]

One other comment...NEVER let a Birthday or Christmas get upon you without being TOTALLY SPECIFIC with your loved ones which part or apparel item you need!!

[whenry]

I will add that the only complaint that I've received in the 15 yrs of racing is that all of our vacations seemed to have a racing connection( ie extra days in Savanah/HHI area after Roebling Road) so I now have to do at least one extra trip per yr with NO racing. Luckily the prohibition does not include videos or Speed Channel.
Just remember the mantra: keep the wife happy and you will survive.

[itbracer6]

HIDE THE CHECKBOOK THAT PAYS FOR THE RACING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[brakesalot]

BE HONEST with her! That's my best advice! Don't be like my ex-husband who lied about buying race cars, trailers and a host of goodies for the car then hid them at our business that he never wanted me at and couldn't explain where all the money was going while sitting at the accountants office. (now I know why).

Then he found a girlfriend(one of many in our marriage) at the track who has him working on her car and funny thing fetching her coffee *lol*(even though I shared my enthusiasm for racing by getting my license and loving racing and was good at it). He was not honest about many things in our marriage and that will be the first thing to KILL a marriage.

Just be good to her and she will be good to you.

Best of luck!

[Scott Nutter]

I did think of one more thing.

You can put racing on the back shelf and forget about it for a couple of years, walk back, get interested again, say Hey, and pick up right where you left off... Not so with a spouse!

And I will agree whole heartidly with racer14itc, do not do this or any other hobby on credit, it just doesn't make sense!

[MMiskoe]

When sending her out on the track, make sure the lugs are tight on all four wheels, not just three.

When she tells you that the car won't turn left so well, check it out, don't just shrug and tell her the set up favors the right.

When pricing up seats, don't ask how wide it needs to be for her.

Get a racecar for her and make sure it is the faster of the two.

When she sends you off to buy a parts car and it isn't as good as it sounded on the phone, bring it home anyway. ("But we NEED those parts Matt!!")

Don't buy new tires for yourself and send her out on last years hockey pucks.

My wife races too, but everything that has been said by others still applies. Gotta keep her happy, gotta be honest, gotta put family/house expenses before racing. Having her race allow her to have a much better understanding of how, why, how much, etc than she would if she didn't drive. Having your other half "on-board" is a requirement.

[almracing]

I too have had family changes this past year and the weekends racing dropped considerably... but as you spend more years racing you see it often. Racers ebb and flow with the money and responsibilities. Like everything, racing becomes another item budgeted, for money and time.

Also good to have the spouse involved. My wife loves to remind me that she is the last one to tighten the lug nuts... Doh!

Anthony R.
ITA #86 NER
Honda CRX Si
www.LisaGardner.com/author

[m3ltw]

Here's my suggestions:

Keep your relationship balanced and honest. It helped that I entered the marriage with a race car. BUT, I have sold 2 cars (M3 LTW race car and an SUV) to cover my costs.

Also, make sure she always gets what she wants. Don't make her commute in a pickup just so you have a tow vehicle on weekends.

Give her a schedule of your race weekends early in the year, so she can plan on your absence (and encourage she have fun weekend too: not at the track). Be willing to give up some of them for her (she will really appreciate this!).

Dan

[dansoiney]

Met my Wife in High School (84). First date- June Sprints 1986, pain no attention to her all day, as I was crew on a Chevron s2000(horrid car). Married her much later! Turns out, over the last year, she has saved enough money to buy 2 ITB cars!!

It IS possible-choose carefully

[RX767]

Jive and JIgou.
Congratulations.
Honesty cannot be emphasized or restated enough. It allows for trust to be built. As it has been said before, without honesty, trust, and fidelity, you do not have a marriage, just a temporary legal union.

I have been happily married for almost 14 years, and I would marry my wife again in a heartbeat. She has mixed reviews towards racing, and she does her best to support me. Racing is a hobby although it feels like a mideval quest when you are trying to make a race. Balance is essential, and I hate to see ads in Sportscar, "must sell race car to save marriage".

Here are a few things I have discovered about marriage in general and racing/marriage.

- Plants can really live indoors.

- Your taste in artwork and furniture may be appropriate for a basement, game room, or garage. To put it simply, that is where alot of your stuff is headed.

- Unless it is a check or cash, wedding gifts are not for you. I personally have no use for embroidered hand towels, and apparently they are only for decoration. In an ideal world, the guy would also be allowed to register. You could leave deatailed lists in the tool department at Sears, NAPA, and the local beer barn.

- If you emerge from a coma and are placed in your house, you will be able to tell which season it is based on the decorations. (do not try to fix Christmas lights, buy new ones)

- If your wife asks you to take the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer, be aware that not all of her clothes should be dried in this manner. It will be you fault if something shrinks to the point that it only will fit a small dog or cat.

- If you take your race car off jack stands after replacing a set of springs to set the ride height, if you move the car in effort to create a level area, if you do not notice the little tab of sheet metal sticking down from the fender, and if you procede to cut a brand new racing tire, make sure that your wife, any children, or clergy are not around to hear your reaction.

- Items found in the kitchen should not be used for preparing a race car or home remodeling projects. Do not use a turkey baster to insert gear oil in a installed transmission. Do not insert a blade from a mixer in the end of a Dewalt drill to mix a small tub of drywall compound. They snap like twigs and they can't be replaced. You will have to buy a new mixer.

I sure other guys can add to this this list. Again congratulations.

Bill Emery
Glen Region
ITA#23


[This message has been edited by RX767 (edited November 21, 2003).]

[mlytle]

i started racing 6 months after my wife and i spent 2 years completely remodeling our house to her spec's. she knows how much i spend as she is in charge of all family financials. i get an allowance and a credit card...;-) no complaints yet about the credit card bills!

had to laugh about the "spousal bmw" trend. my wife drove a jeep gc v8 which i would swipe as a tow vehicle. jeep didn't cut it towing an enclosed trailer though, so i sold that and got a used suburban for me, and a bmw 325i wagon (maxed out on options) for her. in 20 years of marriage, the bmw wagon is the first car we have had which she has gotten totally posessive of. she loves it. i am only allowed to wash and maintain it. i can only drive it under supervision. no complaints here, she is happy!

marshall

[Red Dawg Riddley]

hit her in the mouth and tell her to SHUTUP!!!


when you lose it, where does it go?

[geekITSracer]

Ahem,

Hit <bold>him</bold> in the mouth and tell him to fix my car, then shut up. As my ex-husband liked to say, I don't condone domestic violence. I understand it...

Chicks like racecars too, whether we're behind the wheel, under the hood, or watching (yawn) from the sidelines. If your chick doesn't like your car, you haven't sold her on it properly. ("But, honey, this car means that I'll leave you alone for entire weekends, without ever criticizing the cost of your shoes!")

And, I'd agree, communication, fairness, and mutual agreement go a long way.

[This message has been edited by geekITSracer (edited November 30, 2003).]

[brakesalot]

"hit her in the mouth and tell her to SHUT UP"?

insert the sounds from the footsteps of the men in funny, little white hospital coats coming for ya

I wonder if this is what happens you there's self imposed celebacy?

[This message has been edited by brakesalot (edited December 01, 2003).]

[brakesalot]

Originally posted by brakesalot:
"hit her in the mouth and tell her to SHUT UP"?

I wonder if this is what happens when there's self imposed celebacy?

[This message has been edited by brakesalot (edited December 01, 2003).]

[gran racing]

O.k., now I'm feeling a little guilty. Wow, that was pretty quick - I'm over it.

One of my friends whom I met through racing introduced our wives. Sure they became friends, but now they complain about racing together. Guess that kinda back fired a bit. (Honestly, it was completely worth it no matter how much I whine).