JeffYoung
11-18-2007, 02:37 AM
Raife Wreckalot announced today that Borgward, one of the only automobile manufacturers to support grassroots, amateur motorsports is pulling out of White Suit Curmudgeon Club of America racing after a recent spat with WSCCA management.
Wreckalot told a reporter from The Sandbox that the recent incident at the Bore-Offs sealed the deal. "Borgward spent months developing the Bling-R1 package -- fart can, plywood wing and spiffy gold emblems and all -- and did everything by the book to get the WSCCA to approve it," Raife explained. Raife described the package as not a trunk kit at all, but a true option -- you simply had to check the box "Classy" on the Borgward order form, and the factory would slap on a Bling R-1 for you. Only after the Bling R-1 put the smackdown on the field at the Bore-Offs did a corpse in a white suit declare it illegal.
Rival Uber-Alles Motors of course has been dominating Showroom Not racing for the last year, with its SuperEquinox model consisting of a six foot long nose cone, rear "Towering Inferno Spoiler" and "Zoom-Zoom My Ass" decals. No one has ever seen one on a dealer lot, but tis the way of Showroom Not.
WSCCA Fuhrer Batt Merg reponded with a blistering diatribe. "We didn't need Triumph. We didn't need MG. We didn't need Austin Healey. And we certainly didn't need Jensen-Healey -- who did? We crushed them all, and yet, we still survive. We don't need Borgward. We don't need club members. We don't need anything. We are WSCCA! We shall RULE THE WORLD! From Topeka, Kansas! Also, I'm Rick James, bitch!"
When asked about the effect of the Borgward pull out on competition from the WalMart Autosport Association!! TM, WSSCA Marketing director Ima Dude stated that reports of WAA!! encroachment on WSCCA membership are vastly overstated. "Our members only go to WAA!!! events for the bikini contests and the beer. When they really want to get jerked around while trying to race, they still go the WSCCA way" explained Ms. Dude. When pressed further on this, she replied "The dude abides. No further comment."
Wreckalot told a reporter from The Sandbox that the recent incident at the Bore-Offs sealed the deal. "Borgward spent months developing the Bling-R1 package -- fart can, plywood wing and spiffy gold emblems and all -- and did everything by the book to get the WSCCA to approve it," Raife explained. Raife described the package as not a trunk kit at all, but a true option -- you simply had to check the box "Classy" on the Borgward order form, and the factory would slap on a Bling R-1 for you. Only after the Bling R-1 put the smackdown on the field at the Bore-Offs did a corpse in a white suit declare it illegal.
Rival Uber-Alles Motors of course has been dominating Showroom Not racing for the last year, with its SuperEquinox model consisting of a six foot long nose cone, rear "Towering Inferno Spoiler" and "Zoom-Zoom My Ass" decals. No one has ever seen one on a dealer lot, but tis the way of Showroom Not.
WSCCA Fuhrer Batt Merg reponded with a blistering diatribe. "We didn't need Triumph. We didn't need MG. We didn't need Austin Healey. And we certainly didn't need Jensen-Healey -- who did? We crushed them all, and yet, we still survive. We don't need Borgward. We don't need club members. We don't need anything. We are WSCCA! We shall RULE THE WORLD! From Topeka, Kansas! Also, I'm Rick James, bitch!"
When asked about the effect of the Borgward pull out on competition from the WalMart Autosport Association!! TM, WSSCA Marketing director Ima Dude stated that reports of WAA!! encroachment on WSCCA membership are vastly overstated. "Our members only go to WAA!!! events for the bikini contests and the beer. When they really want to get jerked around while trying to race, they still go the WSCCA way" explained Ms. Dude. When pressed further on this, she replied "The dude abides. No further comment."