planet6racing
08-27-2007, 02:46 PM
For Immediate Release
Elkhart Lake, WI: Team Shanty, having sufficiently driven down values in the north paddock, seized new land in the west paddock calling the territory “Shantay.” Fearing a quick downward spiral, many of the team’s new neighbors ran scared from the area.
Due to the recent rains affecting southern Wisconsin, the team officials deemed the north paddock area too muddy. When asked about it, Team Shanty Queen Cherie Banner said “It’s too muddy” then grumbled something to herself as acting Mayor Bill Banner approached.
Team Shanty then searched out a new spot with the thought of annexing the real estate for Shanty Town. Only three team members were expected this weekend, so the location did not need to be large. The area found in the west paddock was fully paved and, in a tribute to Mayor Bob Clark, was numbered 76. Once claimed, the neighbors immediately became suspicious, asking “Don’t you normally setup down in the north paddock?” and “What are you doing up here?”
Many new names were tossed around for the annex, including “The Team Shanty Oaks,” “Team Shanty West,” and “Team Shanty’s Taking Our Spot.” However, in an effort to make the area seem more upscale and possibly not offend as many of the neighbors, it was named “Shantay.” Acting Mayor Banner quickly implemented new rules, including the pinky rule – the pinky finger of the hand holding the drinking chalace must be extended away from said vessel. As a special treat, Team Shanty Mayor Bob Clark made and appearance, gave the spot his blessing, and said “Expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive duct tape expletive expletive expletive,” apparently still smarting from the Cat Nationals.
However, Mayor Clark’s blessing appeared as a curse for the team. First, during the Saturday race, Acting Mayor Banner had a spark plug disassemble itself, rendering his vehicle unable to compete. Planet 6 Racing’s Bill Hubiak found himself with an unsatisfactory set of tires throughout the day. When asked about this, Mr. Hubiak said “Expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive can’t turn in expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive pieces of expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive!” Apparently, he thought there was a competition for the number of expletives used in a media statement. When informed of his error, Mr. Hubiak said “EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE!!”
Sunday found more trouble for Acting Mayor Banner. Following qualifying, his car would no longer go into gear. An attempt was made by the Team Shanty crew to repair the vehicle, but after several laps in the race, Acting Mayor Banner was forced to retire. Mr. Hubiak also had difficulties, as his transmission would no longer stay in second gear. Mr. Hubiak when on to say “It was a pretty wild race. I came up the front straight for the start, holding onto the gear shift lever in second with both hands, steering with my knee. However, once the green flew, the race was on!”
Because the team was not able to live up to the expectations of the Mayor, whose number on the pavement only served to shame the team with every problem, Acting Mayor Banner decreed that the land shall not be annexed. Upon the announcement, many of the neighbors were hear to rejoice and the sounds of champagne corks popping was louder than the GT1 cars of course.
The next assault by Team Shanty will involve a different venue – The Milwaukee Mile, America’s oldest car race track. The team will feel right at home, as many consider West Allis – or ‘Stallis, as it is known by the locals – to be the slum of Milwaukee.
Elkhart Lake, WI: Team Shanty, having sufficiently driven down values in the north paddock, seized new land in the west paddock calling the territory “Shantay.” Fearing a quick downward spiral, many of the team’s new neighbors ran scared from the area.
Due to the recent rains affecting southern Wisconsin, the team officials deemed the north paddock area too muddy. When asked about it, Team Shanty Queen Cherie Banner said “It’s too muddy” then grumbled something to herself as acting Mayor Bill Banner approached.
Team Shanty then searched out a new spot with the thought of annexing the real estate for Shanty Town. Only three team members were expected this weekend, so the location did not need to be large. The area found in the west paddock was fully paved and, in a tribute to Mayor Bob Clark, was numbered 76. Once claimed, the neighbors immediately became suspicious, asking “Don’t you normally setup down in the north paddock?” and “What are you doing up here?”
Many new names were tossed around for the annex, including “The Team Shanty Oaks,” “Team Shanty West,” and “Team Shanty’s Taking Our Spot.” However, in an effort to make the area seem more upscale and possibly not offend as many of the neighbors, it was named “Shantay.” Acting Mayor Banner quickly implemented new rules, including the pinky rule – the pinky finger of the hand holding the drinking chalace must be extended away from said vessel. As a special treat, Team Shanty Mayor Bob Clark made and appearance, gave the spot his blessing, and said “Expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive duct tape expletive expletive expletive,” apparently still smarting from the Cat Nationals.
However, Mayor Clark’s blessing appeared as a curse for the team. First, during the Saturday race, Acting Mayor Banner had a spark plug disassemble itself, rendering his vehicle unable to compete. Planet 6 Racing’s Bill Hubiak found himself with an unsatisfactory set of tires throughout the day. When asked about this, Mr. Hubiak said “Expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive can’t turn in expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive pieces of expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive expletive!” Apparently, he thought there was a competition for the number of expletives used in a media statement. When informed of his error, Mr. Hubiak said “EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE!!”
Sunday found more trouble for Acting Mayor Banner. Following qualifying, his car would no longer go into gear. An attempt was made by the Team Shanty crew to repair the vehicle, but after several laps in the race, Acting Mayor Banner was forced to retire. Mr. Hubiak also had difficulties, as his transmission would no longer stay in second gear. Mr. Hubiak when on to say “It was a pretty wild race. I came up the front straight for the start, holding onto the gear shift lever in second with both hands, steering with my knee. However, once the green flew, the race was on!”
Because the team was not able to live up to the expectations of the Mayor, whose number on the pavement only served to shame the team with every problem, Acting Mayor Banner decreed that the land shall not be annexed. Upon the announcement, many of the neighbors were hear to rejoice and the sounds of champagne corks popping was louder than the GT1 cars of course.
The next assault by Team Shanty will involve a different venue – The Milwaukee Mile, America’s oldest car race track. The team will feel right at home, as many consider West Allis – or ‘Stallis, as it is known by the locals – to be the slum of Milwaukee.