Getting married vs. Racing............

[NutDriverRighty]

My fiancee' has decided that we're getting married the weekend of the 10th of February. She has presented me with a 4-figure bill (yea, I know I should be thankful that it isn't a 5 or 6-figure bill) that I have to pay. :o Thus far, I've only spent about $600. Should I go to the wedding, make the commitment, and spend the money, or should I get more racing stuff? Just looking for some input from those who've been there. :D

(honey, if you see this, it IS a joke!!)
Scott

[Greg Amy]

...

[pballance]

I will say this once, only once, and then deny that I ever said it.

I wouldn't trade my 28 year marriage for anything, BUT I should have kept the cars, continued racing, and never let that change. Instead I have a 25+ year break in my hobby.

BTW, It was not my fault that day she lifted in the apex of turn and the rear end came around. I know it scared you but you didn't have to yell "I am never driving that car again!" Not to mention that your idea of camping out at the track is staying at a Holiday Inn instead of a Marriott.

You sure seemed to like the fast cars and curvy roads before marriage but I guess that changes after the ring is obtained.

4 figures, count yourself lucky! And Honey, if you see this, it is all a joke, I am just kidding, and no I didn't buy another car this week

:OLA: :OLA: :OLA: :OLA: :OLA: :OLA: :OLA:

[924Guy]

Heh heh heh...

I found the best scam was to put the racecar in her name. Makes her the car owner - boy, it's hard to get any more support than that! Every year I win a race, we joke about how I get to keep my job as the driver... and until then, it's threats about replacing me with someone faster! :P

Seriously, it is in her name... started before we got married, so she could get the multi-car insurance discount to afford her WRX...

[JohnRW]

I found the best scam was to put the racecar in her name. Makes her the car owner - boy, it's hard to get any more support than that! [/b]

Then, of course, when it all goes sour... all YOU are left with is a rusty minivan and a plastic bag of dirty socks. Make sure you ask husband #2 what color he wants the race car painted.

[85itccivic]

If you wish to continue racing .... and you found the right one that is supportive of the racing at some level.
( read not allergic to the track ) by all means do it . Two of my best friends are a married couple that race ITC cars together . Me on the other hand was not so insightful the first time . I did however have the perfect way to escape with my cars . I was working for a repair shop at the time and the owner let me title the tow vehicle , trailer and racecar thru the shop. When her lawyer came calling the owner told her they were assets of the business . One of the things that irks the ex now is that my racecar is owned by my daughter. It is what she wanted for her last birthday !

[gran racing]

Scott, you need to look at it a bit differently. Spend the money for the wedding, they you have TWO incomes to support your racing habbit. :happy204:

[bldn10]

We need more info to make a tough decision like that. Please post photos of your car and your finacee'. If your car is the one in your avatar, your finacee' would have to be Carmen Electra or equivalent. :P

[RSTPerformance]

We need more info to make a tough decision like that. Please post photos of your car and your finacee'. If your car is the one in your avatar, your finacee' would have to be Carmen Electra or equivalent. :P
[/b]


Good call lol

Also I like Daves thoughts, two incomes to support the habbit, unfortunatly it isn't realistic (he got lucky). Most of the women are also thinking... hummm he makes lots of money, spends lots on race cars, now if I could just get my hands on some of that money for my own shopping :)

Raymond "Honey if you read this, I would take you over the car in the avatar ;), and I am poor, lots of people help me afford the race car, so no you have no shopping money." Blethen

[NutDriverRighty]

Thanks for all of the responses!! I've loved to read them. Heck, I might even let Honey see this thread!! LOL
BTW, the car for my avatar is a dream. I have an IT7 car and a Baby Grand car (Captain Who and I do). My brother and I each own 50% of the cars, trailers, and spares. Helps me to drive with less abandon. Honey hasn't been to the track with me in the 18 months we've been together, but she regularly lets me go (no real complaints here). As far as the two incomes goes, this is the start of the 4th week since she got laid-off, so we're operating on only one income at the moment. (however, this fact doesn't seem to have slowed her spending! LOL). She has been very actively looking, however. I hope she'll find something that pays REALLY well! Wonder if I can get her to take a job at the BMW plant in Spartanburg?
Again, thanks for the advice and the laughs. While I've been blessed with the opportunity to pursue a dream/delusion of being a "race car driver" (driver, he says. more like an operator. Seems awful ambitious to call what I've seen him do "racin"), I feel more blessed to have her in my life................even when she spends more than we have to spare, blows her nose like a moose's mating call, tries to carry on a conversation with me in the first 10 minutes after I awaken, and announces to me that her sister is coming to visit for the weekend only 10 minutes before she arrives.
BTW, ask me if I feel the same way in a year................ :D

Scott "oh my God, is it only 12 days away" Franklin, the Doomed
www.NutDriver.org

[924Guy]

Yeah, I thought the 2nd income would be lovely two. That was three years ago, she lost her job within a month of us getting married, and hasn't found a job since. Detroit sucks.

[Ed Funk]

:( When we got married (which was a 5 figure bill), my racing was cut in half! B) But that's because her nice butt was in the Kirkey half the time! :lol: Now we have 2 cars, twice the $$ and about 3X the fun! Am I lucky!?!? Wouldn't change a thing, and Honey this is NOT a joke :026:

[gran racing]

My wife Melissa sometimes equates items she wants to purchase in terms of my tires. Last fall we were at Home Depot looking to replace some wire fence on the side of our house. I was pretty surprised with how much the darn materials would cost. Melissa's response was "what do you mean? That only costs what a set of tires does." All I could respond was "I know!!!" Yeah, we were thinking totally differently about this one. Give up a set of tires for a silly fence? Ha!

In all seriousness, try to find some ways to get her involved. Now that Melissa has gotten to know more people at the track, she actually looks forward to the events. (She still thinks spending money on tires sucks, and gets a glazed look in her eyes when I try to talk about about racing parts.)

I've also used the argument that my racing has saved us money!! :D I now know how to work on our street cars when they break (well, kinda), I don't get speeding tickets since I save it for the track (knock on wood I have't been caught), and it motivated me to finding a higher paying day job. I actually think there are some valid points here; she didn't. :(

[spnkzss]

I guess about 1992 I went to my first race at Summit Point. Every year after that I went to the Labor Day double. Back in 1999 I decided to date my best friends sister, which he pushed me to do. In 2000 I got engaged. In early 2002 someone (J&L Automotive) gave me a means to possibly race. The idea intrigued me. I told myself that there was no way I could ever afford it, I was getting married, blah blah blah. My Fiancee told me that I was only young once, I would be stupid not to go have fun. I argued the point for about a week. Every time she told me to go do it. October of 2002 I did my first school. Winter of 2002 I built my car. March of 2003 I did my second school. May of 2004 I got married. It is now 2007. I have not stopped racing, I have a kid due in July, I plan to race MARRS 1-3 and the Labor Day double.

I could not, would not have done this if it wasn't for my now wife. She puts up with a lot of race talk. She has come to EVERY race. I will admit that I am DEFINITELY a lucky man, and not just because she likes racing. She takes good care of me.

[Ed Funk]

Damn Spanky, my read of this thread would indicate that itc drivers are the luckiest. Except when we're grouped with Special Me! :dead_horse:

[rob22]

A little off topic, but......

You Guys do know why women have SEX with their eyes closed, don't you?


Can't stand to see a man have a good time!!!

[JamesB]

Wow you married racers give me a glimmer of hope, except Raymond.

Seriously though even my family agreed. If I am racing now they can only accept it as part of who I am.

[Knestis]

We need more info to make a tough decision like that. Please post photos of your car and your finacee'. If your car is the one in your avatar, your finacee' would have to be Carmen Electra or equivalent. :P
[/b]

Carmen Electra requires more maintenance than an endurance prototype...

K

[lateapex911]

But doesn't she eat at Taco Bell????

[pballance]

I have to confess, my wife actually supports me and my racing but she also doesn't like it or going to the track. She supported me financially for a long time as I was a low paid public servant while she brought home the bacon as, now get this, it is really true, a ROCKET SCIENTIST.

Now that I have retired and joined the world as a scumbag, double dipping, government contractor I have tried to repay her support and buy her a new car, a Mazda CX7, for her last birthday, one of those MAJOR birthdays! You know what her response was "I don't want or need a new car, I want a sewing machine and besides you still haven't built your new shop." I quickly told her to spec the machine and I would write a check. I have meetings scheduled with builders in the next couple of weeks.

I have used Dave's lines as well. I am saving money with the race car because tires are cheaper than the ones I bought to autox with. She didn't buy it either.

Good luck Scott. Get her to come to the track and maybe she will enjoy it and then you will lose seat time like Ed. :D :D

[racer-025]

I started racing the other way around. Got married in 1987. I worked like DOG for years to make ends meet. During that time, I had to sell some toys that I had prior to marriage. ie: motorcycle, 1975 Molyslip Civic & M38 jeep and others. Wife spent money like tap water. I divorced her in 1993. Also in 1993 I lost my job, wolf was trying to take the house, and owed $$$ everywhere.

Did I jump off a bridge? No. Decided to go road racing. Five years later, met wife #2. I laid the racing rules down on the table PRIOR to marriage. Now, 10 years after that, the road racing still happens every year. I just bring wife along and camp with RV at the track every race weekend. It works for me...

[gsbaker]

This is too easy. She gives you the bill for 1/2 the wedding, you give her the bill for 1/2 the racing. You only have to buy one diamond, but tire expenses are forever.

[gran racing]

You can also temp her into wanting you to race more by showing her the life insurance policy SCCA has. My wife was all of a sudden too eager to work on my racecar's brakes.

[NutDriverRighty]

I'm loving all of the responses. Some make me laugh, some bring a tear to my eye.
On the good side with Honey, she doesn't look like Carmen Electra, so she's safe from my friends when I go racing and she stays at home. Also, Captain Who and I just spent nearly $4000 on the IT7 car (yeah, I hear it............"Coulda bought another one for less!!"), then I went out and promptly puked the freshly rebuilt engine (sorry, Doug!). Although we split the bills, Honey hasn't blinked at the negative cashflow that we've had with the Rx7 lately. :happy204: On the good side again, the Carolina Cup Pro Series paid us our winnings for 2006.................$15!!!! :smilie_pokal: Wow, I could almost get a pint of brake fluid with that!! (just kidding, Estus. I do appreciate it. Proves I'm a "professional" since I've gotten paid for doing it).
Thanks for the responses and the food for thought. I look forward to seeing you all trackside very soon...........CMP in 18 days, maybe??

Scott "the doomed one" Franklin, aka Righty
www.NutDriver.org
:OLA:

[CaptainWho]

... puked the freshly rebuilt engine (sorry, Doug!) ... [/b]

Not your fault.



On the good side again, the Carolina Cup Pro Series paid us our winnings for 2006.................$15!!!![/b]

And another $15 in '07 ... I just got the check a couple of weeks ago. :OLA:

[MMiskoe]

If she's on board w/ it prior to getting married I'd say you're all set. Families that race together stay together.

It does however pose some problems.

Who watches the kids when one of you is driving & the other wants to see the end of the race at midnight?

When she decides to drive, who gets the car?

which becomes you hearing these statements:

"I don't have a problem with owning two racecars, as long as I always get to drive the faster one"

then:

"how come you're not buying XXX for my car, but you're getting it for yours?"

or

"save the money & buy yourself Khumos, but I want the Hoosiers"



And every spring, just tell your new bride "We interrupt this marriage to bring you the racing season".

[R2 Racing]

You can also temp her into wanting you to race more by showing her the life insurance policy SCCA has. My wife was all of a sudden too eager to work on my racecar's brakes.
[/b]
Now that's funny!



My racecar likes me for me. I haven't found a woman who can do the same yet - I know, needle in a haystack, right?! :P

[ddewhurst]

***Families that race together stay together.***

***And every spring, just tell your new bride "We interrupt this marriage to bring you the racing season".***


What am I missing here? Families that race together stay together yet each spring you have a "new bride". ;)

[JamesB]

The quote should be "Every Spring, remember to tell your wife "We interrupt this marriage to bring you the racing season."

[lateapex911]

My racecar likes me for me.... I haven't found a woman who can do the same yet - I know, needle in a haystack, right?! :P [/b]

And a straw colored one at that.............








sorry, couldn't resist such a good set up.....(and while we're going THERE...maybe we shouldn't remind your racecar about how you put it on it's back, eh?? ;) )

[erlrich]

I got divorced in 2001. I bought the racecar in 2002.

Coincidence?

[Doc Bro]

Scott,

Good for you. You picked well. If she truly cares about you and your happiness then racing will never be an issue. Once you convince her to go to the track with you she'll have a blast...like Dave's wife. My wife comes to every race and never even hints at discontent with the bill. She truly supports me and I'm a better man because of her. You must, on the other hand, treat her with respect and assign priority to the things that matter to her, as she's done for you. Andy Bettencourt calls this making a deposit at the bank of good will.

And one more thing, if she ever stops loving you or complains about your racing...just feed her some poison mushrooms before your license expires!!! :P :D

R

[R2 Racing]

And a straw colored one at that.............
sorry, couldn't resist such a good set up.....(and while we're going THERE...maybe we shouldn't remind your racecar about how you put it on it's back, eh?? ;) )
[/b]
Thank you, Jake. I wouldn't allow a setup like that to go without being knocked down. :D

Yes, it's quite aware of last years troubles. But even after all of that, it broke the track record at Mid Ohio the next time out, and then followed that up with the fastest race lap at the ARRC. Yup, she's a keeper! :023:

[RacerBill]

Scott: Not to fear, either it'll work out or not.

I was into racing before my first marriage. Gave up the racing, but that didn't keep her satisfied. Got back into racing, but wife #2 didn't like it. But the marriage did not work out for other reasons.

But being the eternal optomist, here comes wife #3. Never been near a race track. But she agreed to see what it was like. OK, the first time I took her to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, we got to drive around at 60 to 80 MPH in our street cars for a couple of hours. But boy was she perceptive. At the annual USAC banquet she met Jeff Gordon (still too young to drink the wine on the tables) and said "That boy's going to go far".

15 years later, she is enjoying racing more now when we go to race than she did when we worked as officials. Racing has given her an endless list of presents for Christmas, birthdays, Father's Day, Saturdays (or any other day of the week when a new dodad is needed).

My best advice is balance. Make sure that your life as a family is balanced. Next, communicate.

Take care, and best wishes!

[tom_sprecher]

I quess things have changed since '88 because when I got married my father-in-law paid the tab and it was 5 figures back then. Of course we were both getting married for the first time and I didn't care how big it was as long as there was an open bar for me and my friends. I gotta admit 300 people was too much, but they're catholic so waddyagonnado?

After over 18 years of marriage I may have some good advice, but I donno. First, and foremost is communication since without it, unless you're both mind readers, how are you supposed to know?

Second, be cool with the finances and don't spend more than you make.

Third, if either of you think you're going to change the other, think again, or stop the whole thing now before it gets out of hand. For some reason women marry men thinking they are going to change and men marry women thinking they're not.

And last, no screwing around.

Do these things and it should work.

[Russ Myers]

My wife hated racing, hated the people at the tracks, and hated the fact that racing took any time at all away from her. She really hated awards banquets, especially when I would win something. She would do everything to ruin the evening or weekend. I won the 1992 NCAC championship in spite of her. Thank God she is now re-married and living clear across the country. I told her before marriage that I was a racer, I would be a racer while we were married, and, if it happened, I would be a racer long after she was gone. I still keep my National License VERY current. Oh, by the way before M, she was all for me pursuing my hobby.

Russ


The one thing that decreases a woman's sex drive?




Wedding Cake.

[NutDriverRighty]

OK, ok, ok (snickering to self)...................I've got a good cross-section of opinions on whether I should do it or not. I'm doing it on 2/10. NOW for the REALLY tough question. Should I share this thread with my soon-to-be, or should I keep the fun to myself?
Again, thanks for all of the support. If any of you are around East Flat Rock, NC (yes, it's a real place), please drop me a line. I don't drink, but I can be the designated driver!
Look forward to seeing you all soon.

Scott "Righty" Franklin
www.NutDriver.org
IT7 and SPU

[CaptainWho]

East Flat Rock, NC (yes, it's a real place)[/b]

And shares it's abbreviation with one of the greatest drivers ever. :D

[MMiskoe]

Better have her read it all now. Otherwise something will slip and she'll start asking where the comment came from, pretty soon you're in too deep to anything except come clean. Plus, if she can't laugh at this stuff now.....

What was it a few posts back were saying? Something about communication?

[RSTPerformance]

I would show my girlfriend, but well she is the only one in "the family" who seems to hate "IT.com or whatever that stupid site is"...

Raymond "at least she likes the racing when its good and bad" Blethen

hummm come to think of it... Since she started coming around to races I have either finished 1st, 2nd or broke... I wonder what she would do if I just finished mid pack with everything in working order??? :blink:

PSS: Hun and huns relatives, if you happen to read this, no matter what you all say, yes I am addicted, to racing and IT.com, but also you, luv ya!!! :-*

[Wreckerboy]

After my divorce, I had a number of relationships break up over "the car thing." Finally, I learned to be up front about it, and developed "the $50 speech" which got delivered early on in the relationship. I went like this:

"Honey, if I have $50 to spend and it's a choice between taking you to dinner and getting a part for the car, we're going to White Castle."

When Jean answered "Cool, I like White Castle" I almost proposed on the spot.

[JohnRW]

Sure...gloat about White Castle...I'm now a friggen 6 hour drive to the nearest White Castle.

Next time you bring a batch of Jell-O shots to the track, you damn well bring a couple of bags of 'sliders', too.

[Wreckerboy]

Sure...gloat about White Castle...I'm now a friggen 6 hour drive to the nearest White Castle.

Next time you bring a batch of Jell-O shots to the track, you damn well bring a couple of bags of 'sliders', too.
[/b]

Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is the painful sight of a man going through death burger withdrawal, cold turkey.

EDIT - Time to start driving, John. When I lived in North Carolina I would occasionally get the urge and make the 11 hour trip for some. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving - boy, the inside of that car got real small on the trip back to NC......

[JamesB]

I always get some sliders when I go visit my parents in NY. the frozen ones just are not authentic enough for me.

[Darren]

"... all YOU are left w/is a rusty minivan & a plastic bag of dirty socks."

You got the rusty minivan AND a plastic bag of dirty socks??? I gotta use your lawyer next time!!! :bash_1_:

[NutDriverRighty]

Notice to all:
After a great deal of consternation and gnashing of teeth, the deed has been done! After reviewing all of the information provided and the fact that she didn't complain about the cost of the rebuild on the 12A coming right in the middle of paying for the wedding, the knot was tied on 2/10 at 14:00. :happy204: Thanks to all!

Scott "Righty" Franklin
www.NutDriver.org
:OLA:

[RacerBill]

Congratulations! We going to see you both up here in Ohio in August?

[NutDriverRighty]

Hmmm.............will have to ask Captain Who and Honey. Honeymoon in Ohio in August..............might be able to make that one fly!

[CaptainWho]

Hmmm.............will have to ask Captain Who and Honey. Honeymoon in Ohio in August..............might be able to make that one fly!
[/b]

We ought to look into rentals, then. I don't really want to drive from Atlanta to Ohio, much less tow the race car(s).

[BlueStreak]

one of the funniest threads I've ever enjoyed........ :happy204:

I was upfront with my fiance, and she was upfront with me. I was autocrossing and crewing on an SSC team while we were dating, and she was complaining about it then. She hates racing - does not get into it at all - has no interest in ever getting into it. She absolutely cannot stand any penny being spent on racing, and does not want to be around cars. She made me sell some of my favorite cars because I "spent more time under the car than I did under her". (Funny, she didn't get pregnant until after I sold all the Shelby Dodge Turbo cars :blink: ).

We've now been married 15 years - and she still hates it. I now club race occasionally. When I got my first victory, she could have cared less, but she bought a cake and had my parents over for dinner to celebrate when I got home, because she knew it was a big deal to me.

Then last year, I finally got her to come to a race to watch me! She loaded up all the kids and brought them 3 hours to the track. I wrecked out halfway through lap one, ruining a perfect race car <_< (maybe I&#39;m better off without her at the track!)

Despite not being a racer, she is the rock in my life, and despite the fact she hates the hobby I am passionate about, I can not imagine my life without her. Ultimately she puts up with the racing because she loves me. And that is what matters, and that is why we&#39;ll still be married in another 15 years. ;)

[CaptainWho]

Ultimately she puts up with the racing because she loves me. And that is what matters, and that is why we&#39;ll still be married in another 15 years. ;)
[/b]

You don&#39;t carry a big life insurance policy, do you? :lol:

[BlueStreak]

She&#39;s always upping the amount of coverage :rolleyes: , but she hasn&#39;t offered to work on the brakes yet :lol:

[CaptainWho]

she hasn&#39;t offered to work on the brakes yet :lol:
[/b]

"Honey, these IT cars are soooo slow we don&#39;t even need brakes ... we just coast through the corners." :D

[mustanghammer]

Notice to all:
After a great deal of consternation and gnashing of teeth, the deed has been done! After reviewing all of the information provided and the fact that she didn&#39;t complain about the cost of the rebuild on the 12A coming right in the middle of paying for the wedding, the knot was tied on 2/10 at 14:00. :happy204: Thanks to all!

Scott "Righty" Franklin
www.NutDriver.org
:OLA:
[/b]


Congrats!

Getting married was the best thing I ever did.

My only piece of advice is be consistent and do not change your racing habbits - ever. When my wife starts to complain about the time I spend at the shop or how much money racing costs I remind her that she knew about the time commitment before we were married. I also never question her spending habbits either. This subject only comes up a few times a year and so far being consistent and fair has worked.

It helps that we were introduced by mutual friends that race and that I have my career because of another racing relationship as well.

Racing brought us together and keeps us going. We both understand that.

[KelleyHux]

I guess my take on this situation is a little different than many ... I&#39;m a second-generation race brat (I grew up at the track). I can&#39;t imagine marrying anyone who doesn&#39;t have a passion around racing.

Lucky for me, I met my husband at the race track. While we dated, he lived about 400 miles away from me, but we saw each other at races, divisional conventions, annual banquets, etc. We&#39;ve done lots of things together racing - from coast to coast.

We&#39;ve been happily married for 15 years now. There isn&#39;t a race car in our family yet - but he has dreams. We&#39;ve seen so many folks come and go - that we know trying to race on credit is a really bad thing. Once we get the appropriate cash reserves built up, he&#39;ll get his race car. I&#39;ve already got my house and RV. :D Those were goals #1 and #2.

Kelley Huxtable
DMVR
"Worker Bee"

[NutDriverRighty]

IIRC, I met your husband at T7 at Road Atlanta during the Petit LeMans 2006. He&#39;s a NUT!! I&#39;d be happy to drive with him any time he wants...........and I&#39;d be honored to blue flag to his caution any day.

Scott "Righty" Franklin :wacko:
www.NutDriver.org